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Do Not Delete. Unsubscribe Toxic Relationships.

It’s a beautiful day and I’m super proudly organised with a To-do list right in front of me, to take me through the day. I even have a slot assigned to include surprise tasks that may come on the way.

To-Do No.1 – Check Mails

woman using laptop

I teasingly tap my MAILS icon on the Home Screen of my Phone and look at the cute animation of mails loading on the screen. I’m obsessed with the design and process of abundance emails pouring into my mailbox. It’s a cheap thrill like how you wait for the cute sound of papers crushed when you EMTRY TRASH in your MacBook.

Of the 14 mails that poured in, 11 of them were tutorials to learn something that I already know, offers to buy something I don’t really need, and a poor teenage girl’s appeal stranded in a country to share all her dad’s pension funds in crores to my account. As someone, super aggressively organised like Monica Geller, I duly delete all of them and keep only the emails that need my attention and action, promptly move them to a named folder.

I’m sure most of you have this habit of deleting emails that are irrelevant to us. We may have been deleting them for a while, even for years. But did we ever pause and thought to unsubscribe them. Doesn’t that automatically stop future emails from at least one uninvited guest?

This enlightenment came up to me recently and I began to think about how much of my productive hours would have been wasted in mere deleting mails.

Even when I started to unsubscribe, some of them were very stubborn with the process, some with big questionnaire doubting my decision and some very judgmental that almost made me confess that I am doing this at my own will.

But when I did really make this a habit, I found my inbox more appealing and de-junked. You are most welcome to experience the freedom, once you sort your digital clutter. The clarity and perspective it brings to your work INBOX after that is overwhelming.

Isn’t some relationships the same?

So, are we now making stationery phew changes too, you may ask? Why not? But when I was working on this, I realized, similar to the virtual space, we tend to react to most of our real-life relationships the same way.

We do not confront people or their behaviour we hate and delete them from our minds when presented before us. While it is not easy at the beginning, we ultimately did master our minds to focus on the bright things and move on. However, the instance does every time open at least a window to the past, if not the door.

Most of the time, the reason we hate someone is mostly due to uncomfortable experiences with them personally or mere judgment based on their opinions and exposed behaviours. Am not telling you to make peace with everyone, but when some relationship demands confrontation, do not procrastinate. Simply deleting those feelings will do No Good. Unsubscribe them.

Not every relationship adds value to your life or even to your day. You should be smart enough to identify such relationships. It’s not always those relationships that pull you down are bad, but those that don’t let you go up are equally bad too. So do not exhaust your energies updating lists with names to ignore, but bid adieu to save the hassle.

So first things first.

The next time you wish to delete a mail from your inbox, take a stitch in time and unsubscribe. Similarly when you are not comfortable with someone, never pretend to like them or fake smile at them. Do tell them. Some may give you a finger. Shrug it off and move on. Period. But some may be kind enough to offer you an explanation for their behaviour and de-cloud your judgment about them. Begin a healthy relationship with them with a sheepish smile. Who knows, they might really be interesting.

Nobody in the world, you hate, deserve your time more than your loved ones. But flooded with unnecessary hatred, assumptions, and conspiracies in mind, we seldom have space and time for the ones we love in our thoughts.

Make Phew changes, free some space and invite love!